BJ: I would still be able to get back in time for work, no problem. Things seemed to be moving in slow motion . While I was in overdrive.
Mer: We met up with Taru and Ingrid, and they took us hang-gliding, it was beautiful. After, we hiked back to their home, and ate supper.
BJ: Aside form having to wait for up drafts and gage down drafts the time in the air was well worth the wait. The view was spectecular and I enjoyed their company as we walked back to their home. When we finished eating it was getting dark and I would have to leave soon I wasn't sure if Mer would stay or leave. I would be going to work. We hadn't spent time alone to speak of since I had arrived on the dock at 4pm. That didn't matter, we did have a good time. I said my good byes and thanked them for a wonderful time, then turned to Mer and asked if she would walk out with me. Thank you for introducing me to your friends Mercedes. I had a very good time. Will you be out with the group doing your thing when I get in tomorrow morning? Sorry, shouldn't have asked. I should be done with my run and back at the loft around 7, I think. I don't remember how long it takes. I kissed her cheek and left. I made it on time, sat down and began my monologue. The next morning I changed into shorts and hung the other clothes in my locker and started my run to the loft. No one was there I made myself coffee and went to take a bath. I tossed in some bubble bath found the inflatable pillow blew it up as I gathered everything else I thought I might need and climbed in. I rested my head on the pillow and relaxed. I started to feel my eyes shut and quickly opened them, scrubbed myself up, cleaned things up tossed the coffee and put clean sheets on the bed. By this time time my body was dry and I went to bed hoping I would be able to sleep.
Mer: I got home late, and woke early, taking PJ for her run. When I got back from our run, BJ was already asleep. I took a shower, and lay down with BJ for a nap. It was going to be rough--getting over him. I slept, and decided while I slept that I had no choice, and I could do this. Surely it wouldn't be easy but I felt much better when I woke from my nap. It was still early, so PJ and I went shopping. I must have replaced my entire wardrobe! The old clothes, I packed up when we returned and gave to the needy. I made some lunch, and it was ready when BJ woke up.
BJ: It was almost noon when I woke, I hadn't moved . Mer, I called my voice deep from sleep, are you there? I pulled my clothes on slowly, my favorite jeans and my blue cashmere sweater and went barefoot into the other room calling her once more.
Mer: Hello, sleep well?
BJ: Like a rock I guess. I helped myself to some water and my voice began to waken up. I put my arms around her and kissed her good morning. You look unbelievably beautiful today and I kissed her again.
Mer: Why thank you, would you like some lunch?
BJ: Thanks, I think I'll take just a little bit longer to wake up first. Did you have a good time last night? Talk to me Mer.
Mer: Yes, I had a wonderful time with you yesterday.
BJ: I'm glad you thought of it and I did have a good time sweetheart but, I meant after I left.
Mer: Yes, it's been a long time since I've seen them, and it was nice to be able to catch up with them.
BJ: Do you realize that this was only the second time we have spent any time with your friends? Sometimes I wonder if your ashamed of me but that can't be true is it Mer?
Mer: BJ, I'm not ashamed of you. I just keep to myself. BJ, have you started an affair with Keely?
BJ: Mercedes -We don't talk about my affairs. Whether the answer is yes or no the question is off limits.
Mer: I'm sorry BJ, I already knew the answer and I shouldn't have asked. In fact, if I had thought about it at all I could nearly have predicted it happening. I must be the dumbest person I know, to let this sort of thing happen to me twice! I fell on the couch, and began to feel weak, like I hadn't gotten well at all.
BJ: Mercedes -you infuriate me! I turned towards her as she sank onto the couch. I don't know what your talking about and the fact is if you were anyone else I would be out that door.
Mer: What exactly is it that makes me different BJ?
BJ: I know that this is just your way to avoid telling me why you've just decided that your the dumbest person around. So what is it that is happening to you for the second time? We've been together for almost four years now Mercedes. What is it?
Mer: How was I going to say this? What was I going to say? Had it been that long? BJ, I wasn't getting over Clay's death; I was getting over Russ. I climb that mountain, and come back down, and dream about things. These dreams BJ, they won't go away; and all I can see is you and Keely together. I want them to stop BJ, I just want the damn dreams to go away.
BJ: Let me see if I understand what you are trying to tell me, okay? When Russ introduced us, he was trying to help you get over him? I thought at the time it was a combination of Clay and Russ you were running from. When after only a few days -a week at the most you told me you loved me , I didn't believe you . Having you leave Mer, I was right to do that. Taking you back on the Whale that weekend was wrong, my mistake, I guess. I love to make love with you. Maybe I wanted someone steady in my life, not that it has ever felt that way. As for Keely and your dreams, I'm not sure I can do anything about that. You need to talk to her. I don't love Keely and I'm not sure whether that makes your dream better or worse for you. I would dearly love to hold you in my arms and tell you that I love you, that I'll never leave you- I would love to be able to kiss you and make it all go away and it might for a little while. You would hate me for it later. I'm gonig to pack up and leave Mercedes, in the end that's the only thing that will make your dreams go away. I got up from where I sat, across from her,to get the few things I had. Not much of it meant anything to me, I tossed them into my leather pack and put on my boots. With cuff-links in my pocket and bag in hand I left. When I was on the street I called Keely. I'll be back late Saturday night Keely. Your -Mercedes needs you, she's been having dreams and I've left her. If not you someone -not Dionne', maybe your mother or kari? I ended the call, there wasn't anything else to say.