BJ: I had gone out and met with friends, they wanted to race their cars up and down the beach to see who would come the closest to the water without getting stuck it sounded stupid at first and then-I agreed to do it. I rode with them. In the end we stuck the car and then it just came out of the sand and water and we were free! I was on a super high from the whole experience when I came in the door. Keely was standing in the kitchen with a cookbook on the counter. I dropped my shoes-probably ruined and my jacket and shirt . Hi how was the date? I asked as I sat down on the stool.
Keely: It was less than boring, you look like you've had a fun day though!
BJ: YES I did! It feels good to just let go and do something stupid like racing down the beach to see how close to the water you can get before you get stuck! Keely, do you ever do something stupid any more?
Keely: Let's see, I thought for a moment. Not very often, I did something stupid once, and now I have Caroline. You might say I've been scared smart. BJ had come over to see what I was cooking up, I could smell the sand and water on him and I turned to face him. Homemade spaghetti sauce, I lifted up the spoon and offered him a taste of it.
BJ: I took hold of the spoon and tasted it. I smiled you've been practicing I pronounced. The flavors of the herbs and spices were just starting to mingle. Delicious!
Keely: Thank you, I have been practicing. I turned the burner down, and put the lid back on the pot. I guess I could use some practice being stupid too. I moved about the kitchen gathering things to put in another pot. Then I brushed against BJ, and did the first stupid thing I'd done in years; I kissed him.
BJ: It took me by surprise when she kissed me and I pulled away to look into her eyes for a moment and then I did the second stupid thing of the night I kissed her back I could feel myself respond to her, waiting for her to pull away. Ready for it even.
Keely: It took me a moment or two to realize just how stupid this was. In that short amount of time I had considered that BJ and I both held basically the same position on commitment, it wasn't gonna happen. I had done this before, and nothing had changed in the grand scheme of things, I was capable of a one night stand. I fumbled turning off the burners, and luck was with me, I didn't get burned; lucky because I wasn't looking, and was one handed while I did it. I could feel him responding to me, and I felt the sand on my arms from his shirt. If we were to end up having sex at all, it could happen anywhere, Caroline wasn't here to witness anything.
BJ: I whispered into her hair that if she wanted we could stop now. She was fumbling with the stove and I knew. I wasn't going to worry or think of anything but pleasing Keely tonight.
Keely: It was an amazing night, and I did manage to act normal the next day, even though dance class was a little bit tense at times.
BJ : She hadn't left me alone in bed that morning but I wasn't sure just what she wanted, and because we were up so late the next morning , we didn't have much time to talk. While we danced at class I handled her the way I would a lover. Because of that she seemed a little tense I guess. I hoped we would be able to talk about this later. For now the dance.
Keely: We danced, and after we would talk. I wasn't sure where BJ wanted to take this either, but I guess I had just assumed that the answer would be nowhere, I mean, he's sleeping with my grandmother! Of course this was all running through my head during class. We sat down to eat lunch, like we normally would and I decided to let him start the conversation, I didn't know what to say.
BJ: This was not a situation I was used to . I was to damn used to pleasing women that was my problem . I most always let them end it. We were eating lunch now and it was as good a time as any to be open with her. I took her hand and led her to the sofa and asked her to sit then I released her hand. Keely, I don't have one night stands as a rule. The ones I have had either I have left before morning or they have. So I'm not sure exactly how to act with you. I care very deeply for Mer and wouldn't do anything to intentionally hurt her -that's a lie . I hurt her each time I leave her. She almost never knows where I've gone and I never tell her who I am with or why and seldom when I will be back. She loves me and I can't give her that. I will not just leave her I have tried -I have tried to get her to leave me and she either can't or won't. I did think that she would a couple of times but she hasn't. I never expect her to be waiting around for me and I am continuely surprised that she is. I have big dreams for her, a man who will love her much better than I. That is how things are between us. I told Mer and I will tell you. I am a man who helps women recover from whatever. I like to make them whole again-then they leave. I am not a man women fall in love with , I am the man in-between. This is your house and I'm renting a room, you can't just walk away but, I will if you are uncomfortable with my being here.
Keely: There isn't much that can make me uncomfortable including this. I don't need healing, and I don't plan to stop searching for someone. I don't know if last night was a one time thing, and regardless of whether or not it was; and now I'm beginning to talk out my ass. I have a firm grip on what is good for me and Caroline, I stay away from relationships because they never come out right. I don't want any more from this than a friendship; which already exists, and possible infrequent sexual encounters; which I can live without. Otherwise, things start to get complicated.
BJ: Forget that her thinking was a bit flawed. I wasn't going to get into that kind of conversation. I would like you to consider a short affair between now and the time Caroline comes home?
Keely: I considered, it didn't make any sense to me. I should have an affair with the same man my grandmother is in love with, after I just told him I didn't want to have an affair, and how come he had to look so damn good all the time? And all this because I did something stupid. He wanted to have an affair, until Caroline came home, alright; after all, I can handle this. Alright BJ, but it ends when she comes home.
BJ: Yes, it will end when she comes home. I've just become very hungry! Let's finish our lunch, shall we. I helped her up and led her back to the table. Eat up!
Keely: This was going to be a very strange month and a half. We finished lunch and cleaned up.