2399 January 10 Well we got the Whale thing out of the way didn't we. You managed to get me on and off in record time. Hope you like your dress, I'm sure Eagle does. Did I tell you that Matt wants to marry me? K think the truth is that he's afraid that Hennesy will get in his way. He doesn't have to worry about Hennesy ----------- He loves me alright, as a dear friend. How can I look at him that way,Marijuana. How is it that he sees things? Dear friends don't have the kind of relationship we've had. Why did he show up again when he heard about Matt and I. How could he be MY man,tell me he loved me ,stand by me if I wanted a child, share the things we've shared....I thought we had a growing relationship , I thought allowing growth was a part of loving and being loved. I won't marry Matt Marijuana . My perception of love and what it's supposed to be seem to be messed up. That's no way to start a marriage is it?
Marijuana, maybe by selling the Whale to Hennesy I helped him to know ,(and not being around ) to see what he really did want from this life. Power! I had to leave all that behind to find me. Do I go back?(that is my plan for tonight) or do I leave my past in the past?