2391 I didn't know...I'm sorry, please... He began to yell, and all I could do was pull away from him, my heart in my throat. Why hadn't he said anything? I had been selfish, cruel even... And once again I felt like a little girl... only this time I stopped myself...he was trying to walk out on me, now that his steam had run out. This was not me, and I would not continue to allow him to think it was. I ran after him, I had gotten fast this past week, and I cut him off. I asked him if he would mind coming back in, so that we could finish this conversation in private rather than in the hallway. I let him know I intended to finish it.
I explained to him that I had thought it wasn't good enough because his reactions to me and it had been less than supportive, and I had been pulling away because I was realizing how much he meant to me; I am sorry about the whole mess with my mother, I hadn't meant to hurt you, yes, I had been stupid, selfish, and nasty. I'm sorry, don't you get it? I've been trying to convince myself that I didn't care about you, and look where it got me, absolutely nowhere. So go ahead and do whatever you want, but it isn't going to change how I feel. Now, I need to go and buy some real food before I starve, would you mind giving me a ride to the gocery store, it's kinda hard to run with a cart full of groceries?