I don't think I have ever felt so at odds with myself. I sit here, blanket around me staring at the painting Brian has done of me, and I see more than the paint on the wall this time. I see the colors and the love he has put in it . It is perfect and he did that for me. I wonder if I am really this woman that he sees. I do not feel like her. She is much to beautiful to be me. I can feel the tears on my face because I can feel his love. My eyes have found the ring in the painting and I .. . no, I shouldn't let him do this. I can't let him can I ? He asked me to paint when he left but ...I don't know if I can. I wonder where he has gone.